Should the first child be treated as the 3rd parent?
Hi readers 😍
Happy weekend everyone , I missed you guys although I'm not sure you guys missed me .Last week was a very hectic one for me especially because of the presidential election which is another story on its own.
When I was younger my mother would always tell me that I'm the first born and I should always behave well, get good grades and the likes because my younger ones were looking up to me whilst I had no one to look up to. Now growing up I can understand why Esau sold his birthright to Jacob in the Bible because my dearsss it's not easy being the first child.
As the first child ,you're an experiment to your parents,you're the one they'll use to run several hypothesis of parenthood since they haven't done it before but it's not supposed to be so. As parents, once you find out that you're pregnant start reading books about parenting but you see this our African parents they'll rely on how and what their ancestors taught them instead of finding out what works for them and the child.
At some point I started to resent my siblings because i couldn't just live my life without factoring them in whatever i want to do .The painful part is when i do something and my mother beats me like there's no tomorrow then I see my sister do the same thing and my mother keeps mute ...Jesus!!! my blood will just boil e go be like say i wan run mad 😂 like mummy you literally beat the hell out of me for this same thing . I thank God for something called maturity sha .
My point now is parents shouldn't be treating the first born like he/she already knows what they're doing .I'm still finding my bearing also. Treat your first child like the child that they are and stop placing unnecessary responsibilities on them. In as much as i like being the first child i would have loved to be the last born (watch out for me in my next life) .
Thanks for reading
❤💡😘
I do say that growing up in an African home is sometimes bitter sweet
ReplyDeleteBut you see firstborns ahhh we dey try forget
The shege sef you won’t understand except you’re one
The pressure to constantly put smiles in the face of our parents and live the life that suit them and also of a good example to your siblings is extreme
and most times a burden…it seems as though we have to constantly prove ourselves and we are not expected to make any mistake hmmm
To all firstborns out there …..I genuinely wish that that you achieve your heart desires and also remember that we’re humans and not semi-god or something😂 Nobody is perfect
We’ll do our best regardless but don’t put your life on hold at all
I love you
DeleteI'm a first born too and first girl as well, I believe that even before you find out you're pregnant, you should start learning how to actually be a good parent.Preparing for marriage and preparing for children are 2 different things and although preparing for marriage takes alot of work, preparing to raise decent and morally upright children is probably more challenging 😂.Let's be real, the average couple gets pregnant immediately after marriage, I believe couples should take a year or 2 to solidify their relationship and really get to build a strong bond in marriage and prepare for child before actively trying for a child ( Young couples especially, since older women may think their " biological clock" is running out).It takes more than just financial provisions to be a good parent, anyone can clothe, feed, and buy necessary things children need, so it takes more than that to be a parent, you have to be spiritually, emotionally and mentally sound to be a parent, because children are humans like you, they will eventually be able to think for themselves and have the ability to choose and believe in what they decide.They are not domestic animals you can control or robots you can program, it is the ideologies and the mentality you pass across that they'll go with, so when a person who isn't ready or prepared to have a child goes ahead to have one due to pressures and expectations of others around them, you can imagine the issues that child will have and the traumatic experiences they'll have to endure and that has been the cycle the generation of parents before us had to go through,but I'm glad at least we're more knowledgeable and we know better now, hopefully that will help stop the issue of putting parental responsibilities on the 1st born and allow them live like the children they are and have a normal childhood ❤️
ReplyDeleteI wish I can frame and hang this comment.
ReplyDeleteI love you
Thank you for sharing your experience as a first-born child.
ReplyDeleteIt's important for parents to recognize the unique challenges and responsibilities that come with being the oldest sibling, and not place undue burdens on them.
While it's understandable that parents may want their first child to set a good example for their younger siblings, it's important to remember that each child is an individual with their own unique strengths and weaknesses. Parents should focus on nurturing each child's individual talents and interests, rather than expecting them to fulfill a certain role based solely on their birth order.
It's also important for parents to communicate openly with their children and to treat them fairly and consistently. Punishments and rewards should be based on behavior, not on birth order or favoritism. By treating each child with respect and understanding, parents can create a healthy and supportive family environment for all of their children
A first child should not be treated as the third parent. It's not their responsibility to take on the role of a parent.
Parents have a different level of responsibility and authority when it comes to their children. They make important decisions and provide for their children's needs. While siblings can help out and offer guidance, they should not be expected to take on the same level of responsibility as a parent.
It's important for parents to recognize the unique role that each child plays in the family and to ensure that they are not placing undue burdens on any one child. Each child should be allowed to grow and develop at their own pace and be given the love and support they need from their parents.
As the first-born child, you have the opportunity to be a positive role model for your younger siblings, and to help them learn and grow. While it's understandable that you might feel pressure to behave well and get good grades, I don't believe that this is a burden that is unique to first-born children. All children, regardless of birth order, should strive to do their best and be responsible.
I agree with you that parents should not rely solely on traditional methods of parenting, and that it's important for them to educate themselves about child development and effective parenting techniques. However, I also believe that parents are human and make mistakes, and that it's important to be forgiving and understanding when they do.
Ultimately, I believe that each child is unique and deserves to be treated as an individual, regardless of their birth order. Parents should strive to create a loving and supportive family environment where each child feels valued and respected...
Thanks...
Love and light
This right here is very enlightening and educating🤗
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